Rod Needs Your Help!

Thanks to sadcox for sharing the mic, I’ll try to live up to his standards.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has had a tough week. His approval rating has dropped from 13% (pre-arrest) to 8% (who are these people?), all of his former political allies are trying to distance themselves from him, and President-elect Obama, Lieutenant Governor Pat Quinn, Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan are calling for his resignation. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Illinois politics, Lisa Madigan is Mike Madigan’s daughter. Mike happens to be the Illinois Speaker of the House and one of the leaders of the Chicago Democratic Machine. Lisa wants to be Governor….she’s had a really good week and has enjoyed kicking Rod while he is down.

Nobody, including President-elect Obama, seems to think that Rod should be allowed to choose who takes Obama’s United States Senate seat. Senate Democrats threatened to refuse to seat any new Illinois senator he chooses. Trouble is, Rod still happens to be Governor, he has not been convicted, and he still gets his day in court. Until he resigns, is impeached, or someone has him legally removed from office, it is his right to appoint someone to the Senate seat. No matter what they would like to do, Senate Democrats do not have the legal authority to reject a fully qualified appointee.

One of the top candidates for the seat is U.S. Senator Jesse Jackson, Jr.. He has done everything possible to distance himself from Rod in the past few days and has stressed that he had no direct conversations with Rod about the seat. He forgot to mention that several of his supporters were mobilizing to raise at least one million dollars for Blagojevich’s campaign in an effort to “convince” him that Jesse, Jr. was the right choice. FYI, ever wondered why Jesse Jr.’s Dad, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, attacks injustice everywhere (where there are cameras) except the City of Chicago? It’s because Mayor Daley arranged for the Jackson family to get a beer distributorship in the city that generates millions in revenue each year. The Jackson family gets millions and, in return, Jesse does not cause problems in his hometown.

The qualifications for the U.S. Senate seat are minimal. A Senator must be at least 30 years old, a U.S. citizen and “an inhabitant” of the state. Rod’s had a tough week and is under a lot of stress, maybe you can help him out? Based on these criteria, who would you nominate? Be creative, there are a lot of talented candidates. Mike “Da Coach” Ditka happens to reside here. Christie Hefner just announced that she will be stepping down from her position as Chairman & CEO of Playboy. Rod and I look forward to your thoughtful suggestions.

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Ditka sounds like a good choice if he’s not too busy doing commercials for off-shore sports books. What about Oprah? Jerry Springer? That guy from The Apprentice? Big Paul the Wrecking Ball?

There are countless good choices for Illinois politics.

I think that they should scrape a homeless bum off of the side of Wacker Drive (love that name) and make him or her the senator. That’s the only way I know of to end up with an honest candidate.

Well, since you are taking nominations…my dad lives in South Downtown Chicago…so how about Larry Van Dyke. Why not?

@sadcox – Jerry Springer? Hmmmm….he does have more experience than our President-elect.

@hungrymother – You could be onto something there. Any honest politicians in Chicago are probably homeless. FYI, I spent nine years working on Wacker Drive (I know I just opened myself up to lots of abuse).

@Shawn – Why not? Can Larry free his schedule for the next few years? Is he crazy enough to want to be in the U.S. Senate? Let’s grab a beer (or several) the next time you come to visit your Pops.

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