What Will You Be For Halloween?

The question gets asked every year of everybody. If you’re like me, there are two basic rules–your costume has to be homemade, and you have to keep it a secret until Halloween. It seems the administration at Kohl Elementary School in Westminster, CO only have half of the equation down.

What they are going to be is definitely homemade, but unfortunately they let it slip to the Denver Post early this year. So what will they be?

Turds.

We’re still weeks from this glorious pagan celebration, but you can already hear the sound of the pinheads sucking the fun out of life.

Why can’t kids celebrate this spooky orgy of fun? Well, as one fourth-grade Kohl teacher puts it – and I paraphrase here – if even one child feels left out because of Halloween, we’ve all failed.

Hopefully this is a wake up call to all of the people who cheer when Christmas is attacked and banned because it is exclusionary or offensive to a few people. I’m sure included in that group are a few Pagans, to whom Halloween has some meaning beyond wearing really uncomrotable platic masks with rubber bands holding them to your head (remember those?) and eating teeth-rotting candy for two weeks.

Realistically, most kids either don’t know or don’t fully understand the deeper meaning behind either one of these holidays. To them it is just innocent and harmless fun. You may view that as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your own religious beliefs, or lack of. But as a guy who doesn’t really care one way or the other, I can tell you this…

When you start squashing something that is innocent and harmless fun for kids, you are just a jerk.

If you don’t want it for your own kids, that’s your right. And honestly, I applaud the fact that you have some conviction and care enough about your kids to raise them the way you think is rght. But don’t ruin it for everybody else.

Now, what are you guys gonna be for Halloween?

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