Bread and Milk

Wintery weather has been predicted to possibly occur somewhere in this vicinity.

In the South, that means one thing–get thee to a grocery to buy all the bread and milk you can fit into the cart.  You’re going to be stuck in your house (after all, the snow piles reaching as high as two inches will keep you from even opening the door) until the dusting of snow that covers a twenty yard stretch of half a lane of the four lane highway between your house and Kroger melts.  This could take anywhere from 4 to 6 hours, and you’ll never make it to mid-morning without plenty of bread and milk.

Oh to be in college, when preparing for snow meant stocking up on beer, condoms, and stolen trays from the cafeteria to be used as sleds.

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Those cafeteria trays were the best sleds, weren’t they?

I was talking about this TODAY! Hungry Mother, I don’t fault you for (wrongly) claiming that cafeteria trays are the best sledding vehicles.
But the fact is that there have been significant technological improvements on snow-based transportation over the years and until you have tried out a cardboard cut-out of Billy Ray Cyrus, then your information is incomplete.
The Billy Ray Cyrus, or “Achey Breaky”, sled has so much speed that we aren’t sure if it exists as a particle or a beam. It is charming, mullet adorned, and makes a great addition to the home decor when the temperature changes (10 penny nail used for wall-mounting not included).

wow. I am not sure what I am more impressed with, Schwartz, that you used the word “wrongly” correctly, or that you knew certain things in nature could exist as a “particle or a beam.”

All that learning must be paying off.

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